Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I think my goal in life now is to be a Trending topic on Twitter after I die.
Ok...drunk girls at the bar are charging $1 for motorboating. It's fucking WEDNESDAY. I never want to leave.
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
He had all the grace of a fucking hippo and the emotional control of a five year old
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
he just fucked me for my cheese.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
I think the hamburger goblin stole my cigarettes. I left my purse behind her table and they're not in it now.
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