a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
Precisely. She's an awesome drinking companion; yet, not so awesome mother-in-law material.
It was awesome explaining why I had a tiger with boxers in my bed, a little bit drunk, to a girl in a pre-sex moment
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
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