I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Honestly bro, I can't look at girls you've banged. Its like looking herpes in the face.
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
I literally paid cover, got kicked out. Tried to explain that I was just clumsy, but mispronounced it. Then I got pissed off, stormed out..and clotheslined myself on a velvet rope. How was your night?
I'm going to miss recovering from hangovers on the beach. Rolling around in my dorm bed and watching Friends reruns is just gonna feel like slumming it.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Help. Why am I so naked?
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
