we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
I'm 2 blowjobs away from girlfriend status....don't tell me I don't know how to have an adult relationship
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
At 4 am, making my walk of shame, the hotel security followed me to my car with his flashlight shined directly on me. I felt like either a criminal or like I was about to get raped. Can't a girl sneak out of a hotel room without an actual spotlight on her?!?!?!
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
Randomize
