my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
I kiss like a newly born barfing kangaroo
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
Somewhere between the 30 minutes of cunnilingus, the improvised song about the Olympics, and the super thoughtful shower beer... I knew I married the right guy
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I immediately woke up from my nap, made myself a screwdriver and got in the shower. I know it's spring break but I'm still questioning my life choices.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
You are ridiculously similar to a unicorn, and I want to fuck that unicorn.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
