Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
Also, I think I'm too drunk to be at the gym right now. But how sober do you need to be for IM volleyball?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
