YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
You just kept rubbing her head and repeating "I really like your head, I want your head..." over and over for like 10 minutes straight... And she didnt even stop you.
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
First day in a very long time I've done more pushups than bong rips
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
Randomize
