never play flip cup with pint glasses
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I can't believe you big bird do not remember battling a shark last night it turned into a Pokemon battle and big bird over powered the shark
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I know it sounds all cute and shit that I wanted him to be with me last night, but it's not cute. I just wanted to fuck.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize
