I consider it a successful poop when you only have to wipe once.
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
THE ALMIGHTY HAS FALLEN DRUNKENLY OFF HIS HIGH HORSE AND INTO HOLLY'S VAGINA
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
woke up in your bed at 6 AM. on my way home I passed Nathan, bloody, barefoot, and still in a toga. He told me he woke up in a ditch then kept repeating "I'm totally bringing this up at meeting tomorrow". I'm proud of your frat today
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
