I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I am literally the only girl who can black out and wake up pantsless and STILL be 99% sure I didn't get any.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I've now spilled wine and got poptarts all over my cast. So much for my doc taking me seriously...
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
While buying Plan B the lady at the counter looked at me and said hope you have a successful night as I walked away in shame
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Dude my cat is eating sugar cookies with me. No joke. My cat likes cookies.
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