hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
He spelled "beautiful" wrong in his text
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
I don't know. I just thought I'd put my drinks in my bag and go on an adventure. Like a drunk Bilbo Baggins.
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
Am I under any obligation to let my new fuck buddy know I slept with his little sister?
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
Randomize
