I am really glad that on the inside of a card from your grandparents you have transcribed the rules for circle of death
only you would photoshop your dick
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
I want to apologize in advance for texting you a picture of my penis tonight.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Had a dream I went to Disney to visit you and then I got really drunk and puked all over these little kids in line
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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