dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
yeah i ran into him at the bar at 11pm. he started talking about engineering and the next thing i know it's 4am and i'm naked on top of him.
Randomize
