So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Through a series of unfortunate circumstances, I think I just sprayed lime juice on my vagina.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Today I learned that when you lick a mans butthole, you get wined and dined at a nice french restaurant.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
I don't want my vagina anymore.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
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