Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
okay, I promise to stop paying strippers to hit you
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
I was chasing pulls of fireball with bites of a bagel and yelling at people to take tequila shots with me. I shouldn't be allowed to go out alone.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I probably should have told her I was actually the drunkest one there before she let me pierce her ear
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