I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Its not monday til someone throws up in the hallway
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
Less talking, more tequila
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
Sex with you deserves a trophy and a day of remembrance in honor of it.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I cuddled with a man named Pickles
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
