I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Randomize
