That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
So drunk can't even tell it's my own house. WOaoOw.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
are any of them hardcore sluts...just absolute worthless human beings? if not the paper wins
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
The lowest point of my life has been reached. I just drank half a jar of pasta sauce.
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
