If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
i have a feeling i am the only one who can successfully pull off the "slutty kentucky derby" look.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She was nothing like her profile said, we had nothing in common, and her picture mustve been like 30 pounds ago. But yeah we hooked up
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
he went down on me WHILE i ate BACON PIZZA! best. boyfriend. ever.
Randomize
