Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
Is it a bad thing I remember to take my birth control when I stumble across guys I've had sex with on facebook?
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Besides. I seriously had a dream that George W Bush came over and slapped some tabs down on my kitchen counter and said "let's get juiced.". It was a sign to not get too fucked up
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
Just high enough for therapy.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize