you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
I woke up with the wrong plaid-shirted guy in my bed.
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Was just trying to have a normal "I fucked you without a condom" adult conversation and she flipped
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
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