That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
Remember the time we were horrifically hung over, went to mcdonalds, an you merely felt the weight of the mcnuggets box and knew there was an extra?
like it was yesterday
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Haha we both slept with guys named Brad born on may 1st. This is a proud day for sisters.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
false alarm, still single
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
