Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
My mom can no longer prohibit me from smoking pot..I sell to her boyfriend.
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I just found a grey hair. On my nipple. Fuck you too, Mother Nature.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Randomize
