Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
Dude, they are shaking the RV, yell at them. It feels like i'm being rocked to sleep, I don't like it, I'm not a baby.
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
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