I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
i'm the matthew mcconaghey of this party. i'm too old, and too high.
well you can't waste a boner
We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
i guess i fuck people who own bucket hats so i can't talk shit
Randomize
