No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I woke up with $100 in my pocket and I was so excited until I found an atm receipt for a $500 withdrawal. Not as exciting.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
I renamed his cat Jeff last night. Well I spray painted it on him.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I expected my Sunday morning walk of shame dressed as a sexy Dorothy would get some scorn, but nobody seems to even care
That’s because it’s 2020. The slutty costume walk of shame is a refreshing reminder of a time when wearing masks and catching communicable diseases was a right of passage, not everyday for the foreseeable future.
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