Tell him to shut up cuz i said so. I lost my dollar shoe :(
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
OHMYGOD did I try to use pinesol as a mixer?
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I need to mount that unicorn and turn him into a full blown steed.
This bar smells like your ball sack. In a weird way I miss you.
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
