I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
No just sleep deprived. James woke me up at 7 and forced me to eat a hot pocket with him cause he " didn't want me to die".
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Who needs sounds of the ocean? I just fall asleep to whatever chubby he is banging next door.
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
tell your brother to quit sending me his dick pics what am i going to do with them print them out and shove them up my ass???
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
Randomize
