We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
ive had 594 apples! thats 99 apples 6 times! math!
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
The paper boy just woke me up in the front yard again.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Randomize
