I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
How come the only thing we can do right in our lives is drugs?
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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