The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
It's not a walk of shame if you run
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
