we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
I just fired a shotgun out of the back of a truck going 60. i am going to miss oregon.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize