Bea Arthur died! :(
What?
Big bird passed.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
imagine if we didn have a dick. we would be so much more productive
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
We should reintroduce naked Mondays
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Randomize