Rule #1. Nothing comes between you and fantasy sports. Not even a hot chick willing to give you a blow job
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
You never cared about felonies while buying me alcohol from the little Asian woman across the street
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I wrote "fuck you meg" on my toaster strudel with the icing. I call it "passive aggressive breakfast"
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
No. It's going to be "I'm mad that it took you so long to get over here" angry sex.
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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