it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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