i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I just had to take a picture of someone whose testicles are bigger than my fists combined. Living the dream.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
I guess you could say that.. I mean, we did walk in on our DD doing a keg stand thru her ass.
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