"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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