So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Its mothers day and I have choke marks around my neck. Thanks for that.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
Today I'm judging my level of singleness on a scale of one to eat-a-can-of-frosting. It's not looking good for me.
Ooooh. Get funfetti
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
Dude...are you really going to start sexting during our friend's memorial service?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
