Why is it that you only get to have sex when you haven't shaved your legs in six weeks and are wearing period stained granny panties?
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
Randomize
