I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I'm like a warm blanket that has sex with you
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
Plus idk what to say. Like hello dapper gentleman will you pursue me in a midnight hangout where I can be choked
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
