OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
Ambien. No doubt about it.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
It’s just a penis. It’s like every other penis except it’s not the one you’re married to. Ride it or don’t ride it, but don’t agonize about it
Your not going to hell because you need some strange and the neighbor noticed you look damn good in a bikini
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
