Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
I will always remember that night by waking up in that tablecloth the next morning
How do you feel?
Like the devil himself shit me out, baked me into a pie, ate the pie, and shit me out again.
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
My bra is still on the porch...I'm leaving it as a reminder to get my shit together.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
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