So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
Listening to my boss get blown in the next room by a male bartender from the gay bar. And watching pawnstars. Tell me I'm not the best wingman ever.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Just walk of shamed past a 5 year old on my way out of my booty call. He waved at me. Is this the single life I've been missing?
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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