Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
I just taped a plastic bag to my ceiling for the next time I have to throw up on the top bunk. Why am I so good at college?
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
You just kept saying "they don't make cigarettes for squirrels. Yet."
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
Maybe your new years resolution should be not to fuck in Sears bathroom anymore.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
I don't think you should say "suck my dick" and then proclaim to be a messiah, of any sort.
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
you do realize the next step is naked mud wrestling, right?
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
