only if we run a train.
done.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
He decided not to draw dicks on my face when I passed out because he was afraid I'd retaliate and superglue his dick to his stomach....he knows me too well.
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
She dry humped my leg in the raw while I was still dressed, came, and then fell asleep on top of me. All I got was a bruised thigh. 2020 needs to end.
Randomize
