oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
thank god he doesn't hang out with everyone else i've had sex with
well, yeah, he can't fit the whole neighborhood in his apartment
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
Pretending to care about her feelings is becoming a full time job
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
I'm in a corner eating carrots and drinking champagne. I've hit a new kind of low.
How is that low? I love carrots.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Our son just found our secret Sex Dungeon that is no longer hidden in our basement. He brought his Xbox and the TV down there he is currently sitting in the sex swing playing video games. What do I do?
Randomize
