there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
This may sound strange but do you have my pants?
You tried to trade them for some girls skirt... So she has them...
I'm about 40% drunk. You know, not drunk enough to light the bar on fire, but drunk enough to let the cougar hit on me.
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Randomize
