Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
Say something about gay babies.
He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
Randomize
