I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Listen up tinkerbell, You're gonna come to the bar, hit on some fat chicks, and step up when I punch someone in the face.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Omg just opened my passenger side door and my outfit from last night is on the floorboard.
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
