dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
YOU WORK IN THE US CAPITOL! YOU CANNOT HAVE SEX IN THE BATHROOM!!
Dude, you are totally ruining intern season for me...
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize