i fuckib htae you, you church bitch.
Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Oh my god my life; so much cake and so little sex
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
I just farted a soft, gentle fart and it made me think of the eye puff glaucoma test at the eye dr. I hope that's not fart air they use for those. And yes, I'm texting you from the toilet and yes again, I'm high.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
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