I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
She can't brag about all the anal sex she has and then expect me not to awkwardly stare at her boyfriend when she brings him around
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
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