marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
DONT YOU DARE YELL AT ME. YOU'RE THE ONE WHO TRIED TO PAY FOR THE CAB WITH YOUR PANERA REWARDS CARD.
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
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