I really like you and I'm tired of just hooking up. I want you be my boyfriend.
Uhh, I'm not breaking up with my girlfriend to be with you.
wtf he couldnt undo my bra, i asked him if it was his first time and he said "with a girl? yeah"
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
Randomize
