The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Just fell off a train. Bad.
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
I realized i make the same noise when i get a blow job as when i eat pizza
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Randomize
