my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
well his nickname is liver of steel so it makes sense that his balls follow suit. tell him i say sorry
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
I mean like if I stood up my head might pull me down like an anchor
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
