But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
TGIFridays...stall number 1...drunk...send help
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
I'm fine. Heading home now...crying. Michael Bolton totally understands me!
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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