Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
i just snorted my name. best moment ever
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I put the area codes from ludacris' "area codes" into our expensive data visualization software at work, it's been a productive day
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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