but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
I'm concerned I may die tonight. All I've been told about my bday shenanigans is to bring slutty clothes, a bikini, tylenol, sunglasses and pjs. Tell me what the fuck is going on...now
bring lube too
i hate all of you
if he becomes president of the united states, I will tell EVERYONE that i took his virginity.
Randomize
